3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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