You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
