True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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