So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
