Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
