Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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