I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
