I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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