having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Text me some of your sweat
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