well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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