I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
