Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
