That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
