im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
