i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
