For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
