The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
are you so shy because you have an std?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
