i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
