so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
