I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
