Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
