Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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