That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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