Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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