the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
