Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
