O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
