I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
