Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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