Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
