Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
