I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
