I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
