He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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