Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
