they need to just BURY HIM!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
