$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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