i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
