Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
