Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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