You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
