her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
