I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
