hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
