It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
