Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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