Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
