I just cut my nipple shaving
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
