I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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