i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I've blown a few things in my day
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
