Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
